When my son, Ian, spent a semester in Amsterdam, he was eager to learn about different cultures. European students were also curious about Americans, and several of their questions surprised my son. Why don’t all Americans take advantage of their right to vote? Is it true every American family owns at least one gun?
But most of the questions pertained to matters of excess. Why do Americans drive such large cars? Why do we need such big houses with so many bathrooms? Why are our food portions so enormous?
And why do so many college students get “American drunk”?
Ian initially believed “American drunk” referred to the types of liquor Americans prefer. He was incorrect. The concept of “American drunk” has to do with amounts. His friends from countries as diverse as The Netherlands, Spain, Norway, and Germany all wondered why so many American kids intentionally binge drink.
Binge drinking is not limited to the United States, but a rising number of American kids—and even adults— consider binge drinking a normal, social activity. Such behavior often begins in high school. Vomiting, passing out, memory loss, etc., are no longer by-products of drinking; they have become the goal. Binge drinking is viewed as a rite of passage and an accomplishment. After all, such behavior provides fodder for great stories to share around school. Even if our kids don’t binge drink in high school, they face increased pressure to do so in college. A freshman entering a new environment is often desperate to fit in; never underestimate the power of “group think.” Kids often engage in “pre-gaming” and begin their alcohol consumption in homes or dorm rooms before attending an actual social event to have a “head start” on the fun. It doesn’t help that high school and college students often believe they are invincible. In their minds, negative academic performance, alcohol poisoning, assault and death are tragedies that only happen to other people.
So, what is it about our society which makes this an “American” problem? The comedian Louis C. K. said: “The meal isn’t over when I’m full. It’s over when I hate myself.” We can laugh at such a sentiment; many Europeans would not even understand the meaning. Europeans shop every day for groceries and carry their purchases home in a single bag. Americans drive away from Costco in a U-Haul. We celebrate extreme behavior depicted on reality shows. We praise the entitled and give kids the message that self-control shows weakness. The result is a mindset of: “I need it. I need it now. I need even more.” The further we become immersed in excess, the more pressure we feel to outdo not only other people, but ourselves. Kids drink for many reasons, but our culture of excess is at least partially to blame.
Some parents are adamant their son or daughter would never touch a drop of alcohol before twenty-one, let alone binge drink. Other parents accept drinking is part of the social scene and look the other way. Regardless of one’s stance, it is naïve to think one’s child will never be exposed to kids who drink to the point of passing out. Parents should have open and honest conversations with our children about alcohol, the illegality of underage drinking and the dangers of binging, especially as college approaches. I remember one mother telling me how worried she was about her daughter, an incoming freshman. “I’m so afraid she’ll drink too much and get hurt.” When I suggested she discuss these concerns with her daughter, she answered: “No. I’ll let the university deal with it. They have tough policies there.” I refrained from asking the mother if she had ever attended a university tailgate during which parents get hammered alongside their underage kids and school officials. College policy and information sessions can only help so much. Parents need to take a more active role. We shouldn’t avoid the subject out of fear our children will believe we condone underage alcohol consumption. Binge drinking is too serious a problem. Emphasizing moderation when our children are young increases the chance of effective dialogue when they are older. Let’s show by example we can live happy, fulfilled lives without going over the top, no matter the circumstance, no matter the pressure.
Excess goes against Jewish teaching. It says in The Talmud:
“There are eight things of which a little is good and much is bad; travel, mating, wealth, work, wine, sleep, spiced drinks and medicine.” Talmud Gittin 70a
Less is often more, and more does not always lead to happiness. It is important to understand and appreciate this concept when dangerous behavior is involved. However, even when the underlying behavior is less risky, not everything needs to be consumed to a point of critical mass. The world of extremes is seldom healthy; joy is often found in that middle ground.
This article was published in The Jewish Advocate on September 1, 2017.
