Modern society often has a dim view of the elderly. Influencers can shout “sixty is the new forty” until the cows come home, but sixty-five plus? Forget it. Suddenly a person is redundant, burdensome, and incapable of making positive contributions. We are a culture obsessed with youth, Botox-induced or otherwise.
The Torah takes a different view. Some of the greatest people in the Torah were well into their twilight years when they accomplished amazing things. Furthermore, twilight years in the Torah could stretch into the hundreds. Moses died at 120; Noah was nearly 1000. (Imagine the size of that birthday cake!) Our Jewish faith teaches the elderly should be valued. It says in Proverbs 16:31, “A hoary (gray) head is a crown of splendor.”
But growing older involves more than gaining wisdom. In Genesis, Abraham is described as an old man. (Genesis 24:1.) But the literal translation is, he “came in days.” God praises Abraham because he understood each day mattered. The Torah makes it clear God expects us to treasure every moment and look for an opportunity to grow, no matter how old we are. But growth is impossible without curiosity. And who are the most curious?
Children.
For children, everything is new and exciting and waiting to be discovered. This is why retaining a youthful spirit is critical.
Becky Cohen is a perfect example of someone who “comes in days.” I recently had the chance to speak with her by phone. (She lives in Florida.)
She is 108 years old.
Becky’s parents came from Austria, and Becky was born in New York. She grew up in Brooklyn and Queens with a small extended family. She had what she calls a “cultured” Jewish home life. Some of her happiest memories are attending synagogue with her parents and celebrating Jewish holidays.
She married her husband in 1936, and they spent sixty-seven wonderful years together. Becky imparted her strong faith to her two (now deceased) children and hosted many Jewish holidays. Becky loved to cook. She was a talented baker who was well known for her cookies and mandel bread. She always made extra batches and brought them to her neighbors to enjoy. Becky remains conscious of treating people as she would like them to treat her. Jewish values pervade every part of her life and have remained consistent. Being rooted in faith keeps her going.
Despite the losses she has suffered, Becky finds life full of possibilities. She was an avid reader until recently and still enjoys television. (“Bluebloods,” “Law and Order” and various game shows are her favorites.) Becky also remains involved with the Jewish community. She attends synagogue whenever possible and has developed a special relationship with the rabbi. “He likes me,” Becky said with pride. Norman Suer, director of The Conviva Center where Becky has her doctors, confirmed she is a popular lady who loves life and is always curious about what lies around the corner. When I asked Becky why people like her so much, she laughed and said, “Because they are afraid not to.”
Some people view birthdays in a negative light and groan, “Oh no. Not another one!” But for Becky, birthdays are a chance to party. In the weeks leading up to her 108th birthday, Becky hinted to Norman Suer she would love a celebration. Norman arranged a party and sent a small bus to pick up Becky and other guests. She celebrated her 108th birthday with over a dozen people and had a wonderful time. Becky has a sweet tooth and loved the chocolate cake.
Becky inspires because she combines elderly wisdom with a youthful attitude. She is a wonderful example of someone who “comes in days.” I asked Becky how we all can obtain that spirit.
“That’s easy,” she said. “Enjoy every day. Have a sense of humor. And eat lots of chocolate.”
This article was published in The Jewish Advocate on June 6, 2020.
