Despite the Coronavirus pandemic and mandates to practice social distancing, some people ignore even the simplest precautions. I have seen neighbors hug and kiss hello at the drugstore and families lined up outdoors at an ice cream counter. Just last week, a woman shoved against me at the supermarket while searching for the perfect package of Perdue chicken. When I backed away, she rolled her eyes and said, “Oh, for Heaven’s sake. People around here need to lighten up.” Of particular concern were the college students celebrating spring break on Florida beaches. (Parental guidance, anyone, or were these parents partying elsewhere?) As one student told a reporter, “We’re not going to get sick, so why should we care?” And with Passover approaching, these selfish individuals remind me of The Wicked Son in the Haggadah.
Consider the story of The Four Sons.
We begin with The Wise Son. He is a linear thinker who needs his ducks in a row before moving on to the next duck. I’ve no doubt this Wise Son grows up to be an accountant.
The Wicked Son is next, but we’ll skip him for now.
Third up is The Simple Son. He just wants the basics.
Fourth is The Quiet Son. He doesn’t even know where to begin.
No one criticizes The Wise Son, The Simple Son nor The Quiet Son for their words or lack thereof.
Which brings us to The Wicked Son.
His question, “What does this mean to you?” is often interpreted to mean he feels no personal connection to the story. Who cares about Pharaoh and fleeing Israelites?
Can’t we stop the blabbing and just eat?
When I grew older, I viewed The Wicked Son in a different light. Coming after his know-it-all brother might have caused insecurity, and his attitude was a defense mechanism. On the other hand, maybe a sincere desire to know how his father felt about the Exodus prompted his question. Since Judaism encourages us to question, why should we label someone seeking information as “wicked”? Further, despite his pejorative label, The Wicked Son didn’t come last in the order. He followed The Wise Son in the number two position. He sat with the family and was not kicked out of the dining room. Perhaps the story of The Four Sons illustrates how the Exodus must be passed down and explained in a way each child comprehends. Teaching is never a one-size–fits all situation, and even those who balk at understanding should be included and encouraged.
However, those who consider The Wicked Son wicked have a point. One of Passover’s greatest messages is the importance of community. Everyone is connected, not simply to the story, but to each other. By saying, “It is because of what God did for me when I left Egypt,” we recognize we are all in this together.
The Exodus is not about people learning a religion; it is about people becoming a nation. It is about realizing concern for others isn’t an option, it is a requirement. God wants us to take care of each other and understand we are part of a whole. This is one reason our Passover celebrations are so important. We must teach our children the connection between past and present and the relationship we share with our entire community.
None of us are immune to Coronavirus; nor are we immune to self-centeredness. And that’s why it’s important to remember The Wicked Son at his worst. When doctors announce, “Each of us should act as if we have the Coronavirus,” this is like saying, “We are all trying to flee Egypt so let’s work together.” And none of this would make sense to The Wicked Son.
The Exodus teaches we are not alone. Only by understanding our obligation to others can we make our physical and spiritual modern-day journey. Let’s not be The Wicked Son: flip, impatient, unable to see beyond himself and eager to start the feast.
This article was originally published in The Jewish Advocate in 2020.
