After the Israelites began wandering the wilderness, Moses picked one man from each of the Twelve Tribes. He sent these men (the twelve spies) to check out Canaan. When they returned, ten spies gave the same report.
The land looked good.
The Canaanites looked big.
All twelve spies gathered the same information. But only two spies, Caleb and Joshua, believed the Israelites could conquer the land. Caleb said,
“We should go up and take possession of the land for we certainly can do it.” Numbers 13:30.
Unfortunately, the ten spies’ negativity spread throughout the Israelites and caused panic. The Israelites not only wanted to stone Joshua and Caleb for attempting to place the people in danger, they considered returning to Egypt.
Despite the plagues and miracles (Red Sea, anyone?), the Israelites still lacked faith. God was furious. He ordered them to wander until this generation of Doubting Thomases died out. The only people he would allow into Canaan were Joshua and Caleb. He singled out Caleb in particular.
“….my servant Caleb has a different spirit and he follows me whole heartedly.” Numbers 14:24
As a reward, God gave this land to Caleb. However, Caleb had to wait. He still had to wander with the rest of the Israelites. Furthermore, God did not hand Caleb the land when the wandering years were over. Caleb had to fight for it. And even though he was past eighty—people lived a long time back then — Caleb conquered the land.
I often feel Caleb is overshadowed by Joshua who gets more “press” in the Torah. (In addition, Joshua was played by John Derek in “The Ten Commandments”; the movie doesn’t even list a “Caleb” in the end credits.) But Caleb’s values and outlook set wonderful examples for our children.
First, Caleb showed the power of positive thinking. This does not mean his head was in the clouds. He didn’t return from his spy mission and announce, “Land of Canaan? No problem! It will be ours in the shake of a Paschal lamb’s tail.” But where ten spies saw danger and doom, Caleb and Joshua saw an opportunity. The Torah is filled with individuals whom God rewards for their faith. But God didn’t single Caleb out for faith alone. Caleb had “a different spirit.” Not only was his glass half-full, Caleb’s can-do attitude never wavered even when facing a difficult situation. Life has challenges. To pretend otherwise is to do our children a disservice. Instead of swooping in to save the day, we should teach kids to stay positive. We need to dissuade our children from throwing up their hands like the Israelites when the going gets tough.
The Torah does not provide evidence Caleb was smarter or more talented than the other Israelites. Nor was he necessarily more passionate about occupying Canaan. But he ignored the negativity and was willing to try. God was not angry with the Israelites because they were afraid. He was angry with their refusal to make the effort. Because of this fear of failure, the Israelites were beaten before they even started. Contrary to modern day thinking, passion does not guarantee success. Forming a plan and taking that first step are far more valuable.
Caleb also understood the importance of interpersonal connections. He never suggested he could take the Canaanites single handedly. He said, “Let us rise up.” A positive outlook can be as contagious as a negative one, and effective teamwork can achieve great things. Do we, as parents, have the attitude everything is about our child, and the only successes that matter are the ones our child achieves on her own? We need to remind our kids that life, good or bad, is never all about them. Constructive forward movement often requires group action.
Finally, Caleb understood the value of the journey. He believed the Israelites could conquer Canaan and suggested they immediately try. But despite being goal-oriented, he did not complain when the battle was postponed. So, what did he do during those years of wandering? Did he complain he was stuck with the loser group? Did he grumble about having to wait for his reward? I like to think Caleb took pleasure in the moment by following God’s commandments. I also imagine he used this time wisely in developing a strategy that would beat the Canaanites.
The right mental attitude combined with visible action can accomplish wonders. We should encourage our kids to put their energy into determining the next step and not into the “freak-out.” Optimism emboldens our children to go outside their comfort zones. Instead of talking about our children’s talents or praising our kids when they reach a goal, let’s applaud their willingness to try. When children believe they only achieve happiness when crossing a finish line, they will lose joy in everyday moments. If kids refuse to act unless success is guaranteed, they will shrug and say, Why bother?
Caleb isn’t a role model because he captures a foreign land.
Caleb inspires because of his faith, patience and can-do spirit.
This article was published in The Jewish Advocate on May 9, 2019.
