WHAT WE LEARN FROM THE FIRST LITTLE PIG!
When I was a child, “The Three Little Pigs” was one of my favorite stories. It is an old story that has undergone many changes over the years.
In its original— and most gruesome — version, the big, bad wolf eats the first two pigs. He then falls through the third pig’s brick chimney into a pot of boiling water, and the pig eats him. Another version has a big, bad pig terrorizing three little wolves. Another is told from the wolf’s point of view as he attempts to explain his behavior and clear his name. The wolf and three pigs are even featured in a television commercial for the drug Symbicort. The wheezing wolf takes Symbicort to aid his breathing. Now he can deal with those mocking pigs. (The off-screen ending is not for the squeamish!)
But I shared the most common, sanitized version with my little nephew. The three little pigs venture into the world. Because Pig One and Pig Two are only interested in playtime, they take shortcuts while building their homes. When the wolf blows down the house of straw, Pig One runs to the stick home of Pig Two. When the wolf blows down the house of sticks, both pigs run to Pig Three’s house of bricks. When the wolf is unable to destroy the brick house, he runs into the woods and disappears forever.
My nephew loved the story and was filled with questions. How can a pig build a house? Where did the pigs get money for tools? If the wolf was hungry, why didn’t he leave the pigs alone and just head straight for McDonald’s?
After answering these questions, I explained the story’s lessons: the importance of hard work and maintaining the right priorities. I asked my nephew what else he learned. He thought for a long moment. “Well, don’t use sticks to build a house. Don’t use straw either. And don’t be a bully.” My niece, who was pretending not to listen, asked if I wanted to know what she learned. Of course I did! She said:
“Auntie, the first pig is a dope.”
I asked her to explain, and she tossed her hair in a six-going-on-sixteen way. “The wolf blew down the first pig’s straw house. Then the pig ran to the sticks house. Why didn’t he realize the wolf would blow that down, too?” I suspect if Pig One had been nearby, my niece would have grabbed his shirt collar (do pigs wear shirts?) and said: “Have you learned nothing?” She was proud of her wisdom. I was proud, too, for she taught me a new angle on this timeless story.
Obviously, Pig One made an error in judgment by building a home with shoddy material so he could have more time to play. But he compounded his mistake. Even after witnessing how the wolf demolished his house of straw, Pig One expected to find refuge in a house of sticks. He didn’t make a connection between his earlier error and the probable results of his next choice. What if Pig Three wasn’t home? Would Pig One have grabbed Pig Two by the hand (hoof?) and suggested they seek refuge in a house made of jello?
But not only fairy-tale pigs fail to learn from their mistakes. How many of us know someone who is bright and talented but always lands in the same disaster? Perhaps we look in the mirror and see this character in ourselves. We continue the same behavior and wonder why we never make progress.
Maimonides gave advice on how to escape this rut. He believed it takes four main steps to achieve Teshuvah, true repentance or “return” to a path of righteousness. First, we need to understand our transgression and vow not to repeat it. Second, we need to take ownership of our behavior. Third, we need to be remorseful and appreciate the effects of our actions. And finally, we need to develop a plan so we don’t repeat the error. Without this last step, we will be right back where we started. Or, in modern day speak: “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
This is why parents must do more than teach kids right from wrong and that a poor choice leads to a poor outcome. We should encourage our kids to see the connection between past and present choices even if those choices are not identical. Kids need to analyze their mistakes, not so they feel worse, but so they can strategize and avoid similar disasters in the future.
Our children will make mistakes. But a mistake is a gift when it becomes a learning opportunity. Kids will appreciate the value of experience and realize a mistake that does not lead to growth is the worst mistake of all. And then, they won’t rush from sticks to straw and be shocked when both come tumbling down.
This article was published in The Jewish Advocate on February 9, 2018.
